New York in Style

Location: New York, New York

Visiting New York City during the Christmas Season is like being inside a Pinata. Bright lights line the streets, tinsel surrounds, there are Christmas trees at every corner and music plays from the speakers above. The weather is surprisingly nice, not too cold at all. LS and I arrived first around 10 am on Wednesday and quickly hit the streets of SoHo to do a little shopping and get us some lunch. The day was wonderful, we felt like real New Yorkers roaming the streets. AJP was the next to arrive around 6:30 in the evening. After dinner we went for a long walk up Broadway, through the East Village to Time Square, where we met Elizabeth Berkley. We then took a fabulous Rickshaw ride (above left) around Time Square to Rockefeller Centre to see the big Christmas Tree! Had a bit of a photo shoot there as well. It was getting fairly cold at this point and it was getting late so we made our way back to the apartment.

Thursday was spent in SoHo again, LS and I wondered into all the fancy shops just to see what we couldn't afford. AJP also went shopping but on his own. The majority of the afternoon was spent in Washington Square Park (right) where they also have a tree. I people watched and read my book until it got too cold. TG arrived around 7 pm and he began to pour drinks immediately. We headed out to a party at the Maritime Hotel's bar Hiro around 11 and met up with Silent Observer S.S. Who I met in South America and her boyfriend M.S. We had a great time dancing the night away which of course implies I was drinking, and I was. I blame the group for getting me too many rounds and not getting me home until 4 am off my chopps.

Friday was a right off for me. I went for Dim Sum with LS, AJP and a friend of L's but quickly came back home to sleep as I was having the worst hangover of my life. Despite same they managed to convince me to go out with them Friday night to Marquee the hottest bar in NYC at the moment. I had a nice time there, but was careful not to drink too much. Wasn't willing to feel like death 2 days in a row, can't miss another day in NYC. The others on the other hand went all out. We again didn't get home until 6 am. That was after our traditional Limo Ride to the "Flame" 24 hour restaurant for Chicken Salad Sandwiches.

Saturday was a day to relax, by the time we got in gear and had something to eat it was 3 pm. I then went on a mission with AJP to find boots, which I did. We then had a nice time chatting, catching up and having our favourite Starbucks coffee. We didn't want to go out and ruin New Years so we spent Saturday night very low key. Inside enjoying the warmth and chillin'. AJP & TG went out for a bit, but the girls stayed in and had some girl time.

The Finale

Location: Santiago, Chile

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santiago,_Chile
Santiago was the final destination on my trip around South America (for now). I was hear for only 2 1/2 days and now I must depart.

We arrived early Sunday Morning, not sleeping well on the bus I took a nap until about 9:00 am at the hotel. Upon awakening the group took a short walk around downtown. Shit it was hot! Had a horrible lunch experience the waiter was awful and the food was worse. At the end Guava smiled at the waiter and said "That was disgusting, thank you", he looked confused but saw her smile, so smiled back. I busted a gut.

In the afternoon I went on my own to see the Cathedral and Christmas Tree; not 'cause I like Christmas, but because I am always amazed to see Christmas decorations in a tropical climate. I enjoyed the street people the culture, the chaos the heat and sucked in as much as I could. In the evening we went for a Peruvian dinner, tried Chiviche, had lots of good wine, Pisco Sour and a nice risotto. Afterward we went out for another farewell night out but being Sunday there wasn't much. We ended up at a dodgy bar, with good music and bad drinks. Ended fairly early, but somehow on the way home we managed to 'bar hop' get a few more drinks and some smoke and had a fun walk home, sorry back to the hotel and continued our pow wow in our room.

Monday the girls and I had a nice breakfast at which I thought I might have drugged myself. I realize that needs an explanation. I went to put sweetener in my coffee and when I open the packet and poured the contents in what fell out of the little bag was not powdered sugar but sugar in pill form. I just looked up at the girls and said, 'I think I just roofied myself ' jokes of unwillingly masturbating of course followed. I digress, in the afternoon we headed to the Concha y Toro vineyards for a wine tour. Some of us were there to learn about vineyards, and some of us were there solely for the wine... I fell into the later group. That being said the tour was good but it was almost too hot to be outside again.

Once we got back I decided I was going to treat myself to Gelato. We bid farewell to Dwende (bye bye Peruvian guy) and went to Estrada to find ice cream. I ate a huge ice cream and when I was done I went in for Guava's left overs. I ate so much I couldn't have dinner, but I still went to check out the new group of travelers and to say goodbye to the old ones. This was it, the end was near. I was sad to go, but excited to get home.

This morning we went for another healthy breakfast, walk and said goodbye, this time to me. I have to admit I was a bit emotional. I think Guava cried, bless her, but that didn't break me, it was more when the city was passing me by through the window of a cab. I had such a wonderful trip, met some wonderful people, had a ton of fun and so many laughs. I couldn't have asked for a better trip.

I would like to send a shout out to my new found friends Guava and Sponge Bob. Honestly they are a big part of what made my trip so good. Guava has so much passion and emotion it is contagious. I was lucky enough not to catch it (kidding) but appreciated how open and honest she was about her feelings, something I've never been. Sponge is a strong, fun, independent, brilliant women. I could always count on her to make me laugh or smile when the rest of the group was gossiping or judging. Thank you both, I heart you.

Crazy (me) Guava (Ria) and Sponge Bob (Jen)

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

Location: 3000 metres above Pucon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villarrica_%28volcano%29

Today I hiked up Volcano Villarrica one of Chile's most active Volcanos. . Bright and early (after 3 hours of sleep) we were off to have breakfast, suit up and climb a volcano. Regardless of the lack of sleep I felt better then I did the night before which proves my theory that beer is good for you.

It was the most challenging thing I think I've ever done. It wasn't just physically challenging but mentally. When you are standing on a snow capped mountain, sweating your ass off, exhausted and hungry you look 1800 metres down and 1000 metres up and the thought of walking any further up is daunting. It would be so much easier to just go back down, I mean the views from here were already magnificent why do I have to continue. Well as I answer myself I didn't come this far to give up. So I continued with the Odyssey :-)

The walk had ups and downs, I had fears and doubts but it was worth it. I don't know how long it took, I think it took 4 hours to get to the top. I was one of the slower walkers, I felt fine, in fact I got more energy the higher, closer I got. When we got to the 'Top of the world' I felt like I was in heaven... or at least what I would picture heaven to look like. I was above the clouds for crying out loud! It really makes you appreciate the wonders of nature. Honestly not even my pictures can capture the essence, but I did my best.

I felt that this trek was the kick in the butt I needed during a vacation of debauchery. The best part of the hike was getting down. We had to slid down the mountain on our butts. When I was 10 it would have been the perfect tobogganing hill, now, it was fun for about 1500 metres, and then I was over it :-) I was tired and headachey from the altitude, and soaking wet. Couldn't wait to get back to the Hostel and peel off my underwear.





On a side note I wanted to wish a Happy Birthday to my friend Dee back home. I just want you to know while you are out celebrating 3o years I will be trying to sleep on a night bus... again :-(

Rafting & Riding in Chile

Location: Pucon, Chile http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pucon

I have just spent 2 days in Pucon, and they were fun packed - there is lots to do here, so here goes.

First day I went White Water Rafting. It was great fun, better then in Oz, the water was a little cold, but all suited up you didn't really notice. I got some funny shots of me being a 'serious' paddler, and of few of me being an asshole :-) No one fell in, but there might have been some I wanted to throw in ha ha. No we actually had a fun boat, it was Me (Top Right), Dwende, Sponge, Guava and Raton.. and the only one I was worried would fall out was Raton cause he is tiny, I'd have to save him :-) A few funny incidents for the girls trying to getting into their wetsuits. For some reason I was last in the change room and when I walked in ALL the girls had their wetsuits on backwards! I giggled, no I laughed out loud, I was like, the reason they look lumpy is 'cause you all have them on backwards. Then I left my shoes in the change room (that we never went back to) so I had to go home barefoot. Good going Scarps. In the evening we went to bed early as we had to climb the Volcano the next day.

Day two we were suppose to hike up the volcano, but the weather was shit so it was postponed. It rained until about 3:00 and then Laura, Raton, Guava, Sponge and I went horseback riding. The ride was fun, the views were spectacular, but my butt was sore. I think it would have been fine except that my horse decided to run at almost full speed away from the group. I thought I was going to fall off, and for the first time ever I was afraid... mostly 'cause I didn't want to break something as I had to climb the volcano the next day, but also as I didn't want to fall in the mud/shit etc. With the help of our guide I was able to stop her... and was happy to get off.

In the evening despite having to climb a volcano the next day (or in anticipation that it would be cancelled) I had a few too many drinks, and that was just at dinner... then I continued until 3 am. Call me a moron. I woke up in the morning at 6 am feeling like shit as I couldn't sleep and instead of catching up I drank... again stupid.. or was it?

Fifteen's a crowd

Location: Puerto Varas, Chile
Spent Three days in Bariloche, Argentina (above) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bariloche. Bariloche is like the Whistler of Argentina, or so I've heard as I have never been to BC. It is at the top of the Patagonia Mountains, East side of the Andes, and absolutely gorgeous. Was there for three days, and spent most of them alone. Although I love that I constantly have people to travel with, it has gotten a bit much for me; I'm not use to the constant crowd. At the moment there are 15 of us travelling together so I felt it was time for a break. I spent a lot of time alone wandering, writing, relaxing and absorbing.

All I wanted to do while there was go Paragliding, but the weather was so unstable that I couldn´t go. So everyday I stood on the edge of a cliff waiting for the right wind. LOL. That's not totally true it was only one day, the other days I just got a phone call telling me I couldn't go.

I liked relaxing all day in Bariloche and a few nights we went out dancing. Surprisingly I really enjoyed myself dancing... more rock music less 80s. It's not that I hate dancing so much as I can't dance, but a few drinks and I don't care!

After Bariloche we came to Puerto Varas, Chile http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puerto_Varas . The first night here we had my favourite dinner so far. We went to a Chilean BBQ and I had Congia (white fish) and Arabic Rice and veggies, it was soooo good! Mmmm 'bout time too, having a hard time eating well in S.A. The next day Dwende, Sponge and I hiked up this small mountain to go Canopying. Of course once we got to the top it was closed so we sat around for a while, had a photoshoot and headed back down the mountain. On the way down through the meadow Dwende claimed to see a snake. He came running and screaming up the hill like a little girl. I had to go a head of him to ensure there was no snake... oh Dwende. When we finally got back to town we were starving so we went for the best pizza in town, and it was good... very, so was the beer. The next day a group of us were able go canopying. It was lots of fun, not scary at all, which I would have preferred :-) Glad there was a bigger crowd as I think that made it more fun, specifically to watch Guava.

No Sleep 'Till Bus Ride!

Location: Buenos Aries

Okay silly title I know, but being as I was only in BsAs for a few days I had to make the most of it and not waste anytime sleeping :-)

Our second last day in BsAs we met the new group of travellers joining us from BsAs to Santiago, Chile. Jess, a new traveller, Sponge, Guava and I went for a walk in the poser part of BsAs called Palermo. We walked through Plaza Italia, the Botanical Gardens, and basically the streets to just absorbed the energy and lets be honest, guy watch. Once we got back to the Hotel it was time to wish farewell to Heffe Cabrone (Freddy) "Bye Bye Freddy Bye Bye". It was actually sadder then I expected a fairly emotional goodbye for me, I didn't cry or anything, but it sucked.

This was our last night in BsAs so we got all dolled up and met the new group for dinner. During the introduction Guava made me laugh so hard I had to leave as tears came out of my eyes. Nice first impression I gave to the rest of the group I'm sure. I digress. Dinner for 15 followed the meeting and then it was off to party for the night. Not all 15 of us went out, but 2 cabs full of people did. Dulio (new tour leader) aka Dwende (Dwarf) took us on a champagne cab ride to a bar in the sub-burbs where his friend was DJ-ing. Although it was small we had fun dancing and of course meeting boys :-) Once the bar closed (about 2:30am) a few of us got in cabs again and headed to a club at the Marina. It was a full on dance party! I would say it was similar to a North American Rave, except they served booze. I had a ton of fun, actually ended up leaving around 4:30 am and going to another party that looked like it was in a school gym or something.. Again very rave like. By 8:00 am I was ready to go, so I hopped in a cab, found the hotel and tried to sneak in under the radar. Didn't happen. No matter though I had a fabulous final evening in BsAs.

Not wanting to waste my final day, Sponge and I went to Plaza Italia again, walked south down Liberator to the Japanese & Rose Gardens to see this bridge she wanted to see. On the way were propositioned to make a movie, a dirty movie, I laughed in the guys face and said no thank you. Hung over and tired we saw the bridge, took pictures, and headed back to the hotel for yet another shower. I have found that I have to take 2 or 3 showers a day in BsAs as in addition to the heat it is also smoggy here, so you just feel dirty all the time. Anyway, we had a late lunch, showered and got ready for the overnight bus to Bariloche.

BsAs to Bariloche is a 20 hour bus ride, but I was ready for it, as I needed sleep! Guava, Maharani and I were on a separate bus from the group, but that actually made it a bit more fun. Maharani got her flirt on, Guava had a child crushing her, and I had wine and caught up on my sleep. Yeah! This is where my trip was suppose to end.. but it didn't ;-)

I Heart Buenos Aries

Location: Buenos Aries

I said it, I heart BsAs and I do! I arrived in B. A bright and early on Monday morning; what a FABULOUS City! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buenos_aires It is big, beautiful, smoggy, alive and sooo full of energy. It is often referred to as the Paris of South America, but I think it is the New York of South America, partly as I've never been to Paris, but mostly because I Heart NY!

BsAs is crazy hot, and as I said smoggy, but that didn't affect my love for her. The tree-lined streets, European (I believe 18th century) architecture, julliette balconies as far as the eye could see. Monuments on every corner, outdoor shops, parks, people and most importantly men, beautiful ones! Frickin Fabulous. They say god made Rio on the 7th day, I disagree he made BsAs. I really can't say enough about it, I don't know what it is, it is just a feeling. I feel like I am absorbing some kind of energy here that I can't compare to any other. It is relaxed but chaotic. It is fast paced but people seemed to enjoy the moment. It is is perfect. Ok enough gushing about BsAs, on to what I did. First day I took a crappy sitting on a bus city tour. Saw all the monuments from the window of the bus. We did get out in a colourful (literally) little area called La Boca. Wandered for about 1/2 hour got back in the bus and went back to the hotel. Although it was a lot of sitting on a bus I got a good idea where I want to head back to.

Evening was spent at a typical Argentinian buffet, similar to a Brazilian but they don't bring you the meat. It was called Siga La Vacca meaning 'Follow the Cow', and for $11 you get a full dinner buffet a bottle of wine and dessert. We were there until about midnight, I really enjoyed it, not just the food but the company, everyone was in good spirits at the same time, it was nice.

The next day I wandered the city, started with a group of us and we slowly lost and gained and sometimes wandered alone. We went to Rigoletta to see some monuments up close, the churches and the cemetery where Eva Peron is buried. That was not what I expected, it was all cement, no grass just mausoleums. I really liked it there, felt Serene, at peace, it was a good experience.

In the evening a group of us went to a Tango show. It was a tango lesson, dinner and show. Not exactly my cup of tea, but Guava, Sponge and Heffe made it fun. I drooped Sponge trying to dip her and giggled as fat old ladies pushed around their husbands. The food was really nice as was the wine, thanks Heffe, and of course the company.

Montevideo

Location: Montevideo

Day two in Montevideo I went to visit my father's cousin who lives here. Turned out his cousin was 85 and her daughter who I thought was the original cousin was about 55 or something. Anyway, she picked me up - the young one, Cousin T :-) took me around town but mostly to her house. There I was lucky enough to get bitten by her dog, eat a half raw chicken, and meet every neighbour or street person she knew. It was interesting to say the least. A bit stressful to be honest as interesting as she was (which she was) she was also very negative. So, that being said I'll move on.

In the evening I was able to get back to the hotel on time to meet everyone before dinner. I wasn't that hungry and a bit cranky so I tried to drink my dinner to cheer me up. After a few drinks we went to a club. This time a who lot of us.. Me, Sponge, Guava, Heffe, Maharani, Kat and Faye.. We danced to 80's music all night again. Yeah, mood lifted.

Today I just ran around Montevideo trying to see what I missed the day before... kind of did a drive by with cousin T. This afternoon we took a bus to Colonia , a cute little Colonial Village on the waters edge of Uraguay. The Picture below is in Colonia, my attempt at Ocean's 11 I call it Scarpino's 5.

Tomorrow Buenos Aries.

Salto to Montevideo

Location: Montevideo, Uruguay

After Iguassu we took a night bus to Salto, Uruguay... I would provide a link, but there is nothing to see there. Before I get into that I must tell you that I have given a nick name to Ria. I now call her Guava, like the fruit. For those who don't know, you cannot bring fruit across borders in South America due to disease and bugs etc... so when we crossed the boarder (in a taxi) Guava kanivingly opened her bag and pulled out a Guava. I burst into laughter as she was telling the Portuguese cab driver she smuggled in fruit, her face was priceless.

So back to Salto. Turns out the only thing to do is go to the Thermal Spas. On a rainy day it sounded good and for $5 USD haw bad can it be? lol.. well pretty bad. Myself, Sponge, Guava, Carolina & Faye were basically at a spa that consisted of many indoor and outdoor pools with hot water in them. There were some showers and sauna's too... but we basically spent 5 hours hoping from one scess pool to the next. The highlight of the day was wandering around outside of the spa trying to find a place to eat. We voted to have Carolina fetch us some food, but she set us straight and told us we were not in a Democracy, it was a Monarchy and she was the Queen. We then nick named her Maharani (Hindi for Queen of the Queens). Other then the spa and a nice dinner Salto was pretty dull.

Today we arrived in the capital city of Uraguay, Montevideo http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montevideo . We didn't get here until 7:00 pm, so we basically went straight to dinner. Afterward Guava, Maharani and I went out for a drink. We had some fun chats, my favourite being the story Maharani told us about dating a guy who was soooo hot, he looked like Robin Williams. I laughed my ass off until Guava corrected her and let her know she meant Robbie Williams. Still funny. After a few drinks we felt like dancing so we went to a bar on the main strip, listened and dance to 80s music for a few hours before bed.

Three Days in Iguassu

Location: Foz de Iguassu, Brazil/Argentina


Monday we arrived after overnight bus in Iguassu Falls, Brazil. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iguazu_Falls. We got here quite early freshened up and voted to go over to Paraguay to do some electronics shopping. I wasn't in the market for anything, but I figured I would go for the trip. Had to walk over the border for a few reasons, 1) it was faster and 2) Canadians need a visa that I didn't have to go to Paraguay. Walking over and looking a bit Latin was an advantage that day. We had an early evening, buffet dinner, and some wine by the pool.

Tuesday we had a full day at the falls on the Argentinian side. There are about 125 falls I believe, not sure how they count them, but that's what I hear. The views were breathtaking, honestly words can't describe their beauty. We had to do a few small treks to each view point, all bridges over the water and the highlight was the biggest waterfall the Devil's Throat. We got to go right up close. In the afternoon we had a short jeep tour through the rain forest and had a speed boat ride through the rapids and under the falls. We got as close as we could to the Devil's Throat without going under it, but we did go under some smaller ones. We laughed and screamed and got soaking wet.

Our long but super relaxing day was followed by dinner and drinks. I think everyone got drunk that night. We hooked up with some other travellers and attempted to try every cocktail on the menu. I think the only one who was successful was Sponge and she felt it the next day that's for sure.

Today we saw the Brazilian side of the falls. As most were tired and/or hungover there wasn't much talking but the views again were magnificent.

Paraty

Location: Paraty, Brazil

After Pervert Paradise we headed to Paraty (not Party like I thought, Par-a-tay) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parati . We arrived here on the 10th around 3 pm to another nice hotel with a mini-bar and a pool! Backpacking my ass! The afternoon was spent just getting acquainted with the town. I found it really confusing for some reason, I know me Rand McNally got lost and often. The evening was quite, had Thai for dinner a few drinks and getting to know our new tour leader Freddy, he seems awesome.

Yesterday we did a jeep excursion which included a misleading walk along the beach, it should have been described as barefoot rock climbing, and that was the easy part because once in a while the tide would come in over the rocks that we were standing on. The beach we hiked to was called Trinadad Beach, it was worth the 'hard' work. It wasn't actually hard, but I prefer to add a little drama. We sat and enjoyed the sun for a few hours and then were off to see some falls, which were water dribbles really. We walked over them on a swing bridge, fun stuff and watched as some dared to go into the cold water. Down the river there was a young man rock surfing down the falls. It was awesome! Some girls, Kat and Sponge went down on their bums. I would have but I didn't feel like being cold and wet on the way home. The last part of our tour was a visit to a Caipira Distillery where they make the booze that goes into our Caiporinia's. I got a cinimon flavoured bottle that tastes like Christmas.

That evening Stevo, Ria, Carolina, Stacey, Freddy and I went out dancing until the wee hours of the morning. As usualy Steve and I were the last home, he had to drag me off the dance floor at 5 am, I didn't wnat the fun to end. The next day it was time to say fairwell to Steve he was off to the doctor in Lima. Had a great night but legs felt like jello the next day, totally worth it. The next day was also when I was given my nick name - Crazy.

Booze Cruise

Location: Ilha Grande

Today I was coerced into going on a 'Booze Cruise'. Some of the girls I've met, Ria, Jen, Kat & I sat on the fence (literally for Ria) about going on a 10:00 am booze cruise, and not because of the drinking in the morning, but because it looked like it was going to rain. Stevo saw the fence sitting and came over to drag us on the boat. Thank you Stevo!

The boat left at 10:30 am, as soon as 11:00 hit the sun came out and the weather was beautiful. We docked in a place called Green Bay, swam, snorkeled, drank Caiporinia's (lime, sugar & a rum like alcohol) all around had fun. I did manage to embarrass myself, which is expected, getting back into the boat after swimming my bikini bottom got caught in the ladder and I mooned all the swimmers left behind. That wasn't the worst part. The more I struggled to get out, the worse it got, my front, my back, my everything was out and I didn't know what to cover. After what seemed like an eternity of struggling the boat captain HOT captain, Netto came over and unhooked me. At this point I collapsed to the ground in embarrassment and laughter. The rest of the day we continued eating, drinking, swimming and dancing. We anchored by a few beaches, had some great swims and good laughs. I came up with my first nick-name and it went to Jen, now Sponge Bob, she is so cute and excitable and it reminded me of Sponge Bob. By the end I was ready to go home though as booze and boats are only good for so long.

In the evening the girls wanted to go back to the same bar/restaurant that we have now become regulars at. We had dinner, but the girls still felt drunk and wanted to go to bed. A few stayed out and had some drinks on the beach but as usual they quickly tapered away. By the time the bar closed the only ones left were me and yep Stevo. We weren't ready to go home at this point so we went back to our regular spot and banged on the steel doors to see if we could go in, being as the owner had a thing for me he let us in. Unfortunately said owner, who I now call Pervy McHorny was coming on to me much too strong. He kept trying to get me to stay with him, telling me it was a rare opportunity, once in a lifetime in fact. I laughed and pretty much said "For you, I can bang any 50 year old". He didn't like that too much but it didn't stop his persistence. I have now named Ilha Grande Pervert Paridise, as he is not alone. I made Steve chug his last beer as I did mine and we got out of there. That last beer, likely as it was drunk in 30 seconds went straight to our heads, we ended up stumbling back to the posada (hotel) waking up some dogs who in turn woke up our fellow travellers. They may not have known it then, but I guess they do now. Sorry Sponge :-)

Parrot Head

Location: Ilha Grande

Today some girls too many to name and I decided to take a hike through the mountains up to 'Parrot Head' (see mountain peak in pic). The hike ended up not getting us to the top of Parrot Head but around it to the beach on the other side. It was a 2.5 hour hike but we were told when we got there a boat would be available to take us back to where we came from. The water unfortunately was still rough and the boat was not there to take us back, I can't say I was overly disappointed, not in a rush to get back on a barf barge. So the only way back to town was through the mountain again. We enjoyed the ocean and beach for an hour or so and headed back round the mountain. I went the long way browsed the streets before getting back to my hut and taking a long warm shower.

In the evening we had dinner, seafood, on the beach. Drinks of course followed dinner, such is the case when on vacation. Everyone seemed to have fun getting to know each other a little better. Most left before 1:00 am but left standing was me and Stevo of course. He told me some crazy stories, all that I have written down so I don't forget them. We had a few more drinks and stumbled home just after 2:00 am.

Ilha Grande

Location: Ilah Grande, Brazil http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilha_Grande .

Two hours on a bus, Two plus of the longest hours of my life on a boat... or more accurately the 'Barf Barge' (right) on route to Ilah Grande. What a frickin adventure, I'm still a bit traumatized to speak of said boat ride. Missing the 'luxurious' ferry had to take a barely floating, miniature boat that had a capacity of 25 with 50 people aboard. 'The weather started getting rough and the tiny ship was tossed' yes and then people started tossing their cookies, or spaghetti as the case was for little boy with the face of a man. I was now not only concerned for my life as the boat was often on a 45 degree angle, but I was trying to avoid getting puked on. Trying hard not to make the boy feel worse I looked the other way, but as the waters got more violent and the vomit a like I attempted to run to the front of the boat. I say attempted as I only made it half way, fell on an elder lady and broke some eggs. As the boat calmed down for a moment I tried again to get up, but the old bag I fell on wouldn't let go of my ruck-sack ... we had a bit of a tug-of-war, I won, and finally made my way to the front of the boat to stand and breath fresh air. What I didn't notice thank goodness was that the lady next to the old bag was actually throwing up into a see-through plastic bag for everyone to see. Just as I thought the excitement was over there was a mad rush to the back of the boat. The captain and skipper were throwing ropes overboard and screaming bloody murder. I thought this was it, my final moments were going to be in the shaky waters of Brazil. I was mistaken though, we were actually rescuing another boat. AH!

Such an ordeal could not have ended as perfectly as it did. Although it was pouring rain the island was such of a Paradise that I cannot describe. Small, quaint, precious. The accommodations were the same, small wooden huts hidden in the trees. For dinner we ate at a restaurant/bar the name of which I can't remember, nothing special, but good food, conversation and fabulous drinks. I was introduced to a Caiporoska (your fruit of choice with vodka & sugar) and I loved it. Yum!

I got acquainted with Stevo (gap tour leader), poor guy was mugged in Rio and in a coma for 3 days before I met him in Rio. Turns out he is a bit of a party animal, more so then me believe it or not.

Although today was mostly a travel day it was still pretty eventful. I have so far loved my time here, only complaint is that I'm going to bed early... it's only 1:00 am. Oh and the weather isn't that great, but it's only day 2 :-)

Rio De Janeiro

Location: Rio De Janeiro, Brazil

Hola Everyone!

It is now the more exciting part of my trip, that being South America. As mentioned previously I started my journey in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. Upon arrival I was greeted by a taxi driver. Yes I had a man with a sign waiting for me, how exciting! Regardless of the excitement I almost fell asleep on the way to the hotel. I know I can't sleep for 3 days and now I am fighting sleep when I get to Brazil. Bugger F@&K! Anyway, once I got to my hotel I booked a tour for the afternoon and took a quick nap. Guess what I couldn't sleep, but I did rest.

I did a tour of the city that took me through Rio and then to the top of Sugar Loaf Mountain. We only stopped a few times, the first stop was at San Sebastian Cathedral, the patron saint of Rio who happens to be Italian. The Cathedral is beautiful, looks like a pyramid, I've never seen a church like it. Our next stop was Sugar Loaf Mountain, from the top of which you can see all of Rio. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugarloaf_Mountain,_Brazil I took cable cars up to the top of it, but you can climb it. Some highlights were the views of Christ the King, the statue at the top of the city; Copacabana Beach (pictured above) where there is currently a beach soccer tournament going on, and Rio... all of RIO!

For dinner I went to a Brazilian Buffet, perfect for a carny like me, it's basically a buffet but the kicker is the bring meat to your table, 27 kinds of it, on sticks! Yum! Either way the food was good and now it is finally time for bed.

Airport or Adult Entertainment Facility?

Location: Miami International Airport

So the flight was fine, nothing fun to report. There was no sleep and a good amount of turbulence, by good amount I mean bad, too much. I made it though and now I'm in the airport. I have a few hours to kill here, I was going to venture out of the airport but it has become and quite interesting so I have decided to stay.

For example while shopping (the airport is my favourite place to shop) I found a portable 'massager' that was shaped like.. well a long really thick pen kinda thing if you get my drift. The funniest part was the caption on the box which said 'The perfect travel sized massager, shaped to pin point your pain.' RIGHT! I wanted to take a picture, but I thought I would get in trouble or at least dirty looks.

Incident number two: I just walked by a man blatantly watching porn on his laptop in the middle of the airport lounge. I decided to sit next to said man and watch the 'Boob Tube' so to speak. lol. No I didn't, I am actually sitting across from porn guy giggling to myself. I guess that doesn't make me look much better, does it.

Incident number three: I am calling this 'The Man with the Erection', surprisingly, not the man watching porn or porn guy as I called him. Still at the airport, the happiest place on earth in my opinion, proves itself to me, yet again. I just watched a couple re-unite and it was touching. Unfortunately, I was sitting and they were standing so their (specifically his) crotch was at my eye level. This of course is how my innocent eyes gazed upon his erection. At first I thought he actually had something in his pocket, but then I noticed, as I couldn't release my eyes, that it changed in a fashion that only an erection would (would not wood ha ha... now I'm giggling again)

Anyway, it is now 6 pm I still have time to kill and all I want to do is sleep, but not sure where I can :-)

Bon Voyage Toronto

Location: American Airlines Flight 1011

Where do I start? I know, the beginning should be obvious, start the journal when I get to my destination, this trip being South America starting in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. Well I would normally disagree and begin somewhere between the airport and the plane ride. Today I am going to start even earlier, I am going to begin with the day before my journey. You may not see why it relevant, but it has effective my entire day.

So let us begin. I decided it would be wise not, yes not, sleep before my trip. My logic was that it was a 20 hour journey and I wanted to sleep the entire way so I would arrive well rested, fresh and ready for new adventures when I arrived in Rio. So my last night myself and the gang LS, DC, RM & I went out until 6 am! I went home and finished packing then tried to wake up LS at 9:00 so she could drive me to the airport. She did manage to wake up and successfully get me to my plane on time. Her journey home on the other hand was a story in itself... but her story to tell not mine. Looking forward to sleeping on the plane I had no coffee and no energy providing substance at all. That didn't matter, 'cause I didn't sleep, not yet, not one wink.

Despite my lack of sleep I am enjoying my day at the Miami International Airport It started with my chipper self going through US customs explaining to the customs officer that I was going to South America, by myself, for fun. Apparently this was odd, or he thought I was transporting some illegal narcotics because ... well here is our conversation.
Officer: Where are you travelling to today?
Marisa: South America, starting in Brazil.
O: What for?
M: Fun
O: Fun? Do you know anyone there?
M: Nope
O: Why Brazil?
M: For fun.
O: Who are you travelling with?
M: No one... just me.
O: Why?
M: For fun. (sticking to my story)
O: What do you do?
M: I'm a Real Estate Agent.
O: Do you Speak Portuguese?
M: No
O: Good luck.... (he gestures that I am done and I begin to walk away) oh and have FUN.
So I thought this was funny before I wrote it (could have been the lack of sleep), now not as funny, but I am choosing to leave that in.

I Heart New York

Ode to the City I love...

I recently returned from a fabulous trip to NYC July 13-16th for the Lovely LGS's Birthday. Here are some of the highlights...

Thursday we arrive, me in I NY garb of course, and began the day shopping and wandering the city. What a beautiful day. It was hot but not too hot to enjoy the streets of SoHo.

Thursday night we went to Stereo. Don't remember the music, I want to say top 40 dance, but I do remember the dancing. I also remember the 21 year old boys... nice. Everyone was ready to go by 3 am (earlier than usual) so we thought we'd take a ride to Time Square! Mostly for DC as it was her first time in NYC but a little for us to. Whilst we were stumbling through the streets in Time Square we ran into New York's Finest... and Damn were they fine! They were kind enough not to arrest us and even pose for pictures. (Strange I remember a similar story on my birthday, in fact I didn't even come up with original wording. Note to self, buy a thesaurus)

Friday was a full day of adventure... with different agendas the gang split up the entire city was hit by us Torontonians. My day started forcing Vitamin Waters down DC's throat to help cure her hangover, and the afternoon was spent sitting in Washington Park observing the 'real' New Yorkers. My favourite NYer of the day was the 'Asshole you'd see on American Idol' to quote LGS, dancing and singing to Samantha Fox' 'Touch me'.

(I hate that my eyes are closed in this picture but that is us with Rupert from David Letterman)

Friday night was a smaller crowd, not many could make it out after a lovely dinner in Little Italy dinner and the party from the night before. TG, LGS and I however were able to hit our favourite city again. Hell we were only there for 4 days, we'll sleep when we're dead. I don't remember the name of the first place we went to, but I remember that Laura and I headed to our fall back 'Lotus' at about 3 am. I was also able to charm the bouncer into letting us in for free. ABC Baby ABC.


Saturday NSF organized a picnic in Central Park for LGS... although it started a bit late, it was nice, we had tons of food and even booze. Once we were all a bit tipsy and full of grub we separated again and met back at the hotel in the early evening to prepare for the birthday girls dinner in Bed, the restaurant.

Bed was fun, in fact at one point I looked over at LGS and said "If I die tomorrow you can tell my mother I died happy" seriously I couldn't get my giant grin off my face all night. The novelty of being in bed surprisingly didn't wear-off until our bed was soaked with booze and food, but that wasn't until 4:30 am when the bouncers had to pull us out of bed. There were 8 of us there in total, but by the end of the night only 4 of us were left standing Me, LGS, TG and E.

The four of us wandered out into the streets to find a cab, and ended up hitching a ride in a limo. I thought we were going home, which I wasn't ready for, but I just went with the flow. When we got out of the limo we weren't home, nope, we were at an afterhours! Yeah! We got to dance more. We stayed at the afterhours until about 9:00 am when we all wandered home for a nap.

Sunday LGS, DC and I decided we had to go for a carriage ride in Central Park before having to head home.

The weekend was fabulous. The most fun I have ever had in NYC, I blame my company for that. Remember if I die tomorrow, I died happy ;-)

Tragically Hip

Thank You GORD DOWNIE!!!

Last night went to the Tragically Hip Concert... Soooo great. Not only was Gordie on his game, but so was MW. He decided that I had to see Gord up close, and not only pushed me to the front.. The very front but held me up so Gordie could see me. Only thing between me and Gord was a fence and a fat guy picking his teeth.

Now I might be wrong 'cause I was very ... well... you know... but I could have sworn Gord looked right at me. I'm going to pretend that in fact happened regarless so believe it.

Yeah Gord, MW and everyone else there who made it fun... ;-)

New York on a Whim

'Twist my rubber arm' I said as I load up the car, pack up the gang (AJP, LGS & TG) and hit the road to New York City!

We left at 4 am from TO... 8.5 Hours, 4 stops (due to AJP's bladder) a short train ride and Voila! NYC! Sun shinning, birds chirping, smiles all round. Friday afternoon in NYC ... what could be better?

2 days, 4 bars, David Blane in a Fishbowl & club sandwiches at for breakfast, that's what.

We couldn't have asked for a better weekend. The weather was extremely warm for May. Our accommodations were pretty good... no Ritz Carlton, but nice. We stayed at the New Yorker, 2 bedrooms, 2 baths in Central New York. First day we went to Time Square and had lunch and did some sight seeing. In the evening we went out to the popular Buddha Bar http://www.buddhabarnyc.com The place was incredible, high ceilings, huge space, $15 drinks. After Buddha Bar we went to Orchid, I don't remember much about it, we were in and out pretty quickly. Our night was not over of course without a visit to Lincoln Square to see David Blaine in his fishbowl. http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1913098&page=1 , and stopping at the Flame to have a chicken salad club sandwich lol.

Saturday AJP and I got up early (10 am) and walked south toward the water to take the Staten Island Ferry and see Miss. Liberty. The ride was nice, the scenery was great. Manhattan is such a little island and has so much in it to love. It was nice to look at it from a distance. Afterward we joined LGS and TG in Washington Square park to people watch. Once the sun began to set we headed back to the hotel to get ready for our night out.

Saturday night we went to this rock/80's bar that I can't remember the name of.
Afterwards LGS and I went to Lotus and let the boys go somewhere on their own ... http://www.worldsbestbars.com/city/new-york/lotus-new-york.htm .
The night was great! We all got home around 5 or 6 am but not before seeing David Blaine, ate and then crashed. The usual.

Sunday was a sad day, as we had to leave. We went to Pastis in the Meat packing district for brunch where we literally bumped into Lindsey Lohan. We then went for one last visit with David Blaine (this time he was awake), and slowly made our way back to the hotel to collect our things and leave. We (I) wanted to leave at 4:00 pm ish as I had a long drive ahead of me, but we didn't get out of the city until 5:00 and to the car until 6:00. The ride home was good.. TG & AJP slept almost the entire way, but LGS stayed up and chatted with me. Once we hit Niagara falls LGS fell asleep but TG woke up. So all and all my travel buddies were great. I didn't mind driving as long as not EVERYONE slept at the same time.

It was a brilliant weekend, I am so glad LGS suggested it. Thanks Babe.

Words of Wisdom

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.

Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Remember, no one is listening until you fart.

Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Have you ever lent someone a 20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windshields.

Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse.

The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

Year of Marisa

2006 the year of blogs.

I have had a 'secret' blog for the ladies for a little while now, and was encouraged to share the wealth and have a blog for the rest of you. I hope not to bore you with daily nothings, but I do intend to share moments that have been significant to me.

So here it is. It has started, Crazy's Chronicles... and I will begin with the most important day of my year :-) My birthday.

There were quite a few 'Funny' things that happened at my party this year... surprisingly not at all similar to last year.

I would love to remind you of last years antics but as any good host would say, you had to be there. Truth be told I don't remember much from that night.

But I digress... here are this years antics, some I was reminded of, some I have photos of and some are just hearsay ... if you have any other stories or pictures, that I may not have seen or forgotten, please let me know.

1) Greeting all my guests (who arrived after 10) with a tongue thrashing.

2) Reesa Fits in a Dryer... there is proof, Deanna took a picture.

3) Reesa walks out of the men’s room, followed by Fahel and Bernardi... I have no idea what was going on in there, I totally forgot, Kelly tells me this (not sure if she is a reliable source).

-- So I found out from Bernardi what happen in the men's room. Wasn't as bad as I thought. Enough said.

4) Reesa tries to undress a cop, ‘cause she thinks he’s a stripper, I remember this, and also have pictures to prove it. I spent 15 minutes trying to convince Toronto's Finest to get his cock out. Unfortunately he never did, but fortunately I didn't get arrested for harassing a cop, public drunkenness, and well other things. He was also nice enough to pose for the picture.

Lastly I want to pose the question:

Laundry Room or Den of Inequity?

Thanks to all of you who joined me in celebrating another year.